Spraggle Log (Tales from beyond the Placenta): Final Weeks in Captivity

As the day of my release approaches I contemplate my own conformity to this imprisonment. For, what are my crimes? What have I done to deserve such cruel treatment? I was unaware that being a more then adequate swimmer was such a crime. Perhaps the event coordinators should have posted signs at the beginning of the race with a notation like “Beware the award for winning this race is three quarters of a year in solitary confinement.” Although a bit wordy for a notice, I believe it would have at least given me, as well as the other competitors, some sense of caution.

Regarding my conformity to this penal structure, I have decided that I have one of two choices. I can either remain in my cell until instructed by the parole officer of my freedom or I can defy their organization and break free of these confines on my own terms. Neither of these options are to be considered light-heartedly, for, they could very well set to tone for my entire independence.

On the one hand the meetings between Mom and my parole officer have increased in frequency. Although, I am starting to suspect that the parole office is delaying my release. I’m not entirely sure if he is actively trying to keep me contained or if this delay is due to some form of clerical error. In either case my freedom is being deferred and I simply can not abide by such ineptitude.

On the other hand I can continue to force my way out of my cell. I seem to have found the weakest point in the structure of my confines and I am considering pushing against it until it deteriorates and then finally ruptures. There by releasing me from my fleshy prison. The issue is my actions have not gone unnoticed. I few spectators have made remarks regarding the movement of my prison walls. And although no action has been taken to fortify my structure I am not entirely sure that once free the security will let me go or attempt to cast me back in this penitentiary.

Ah, I had another revelation this past week and in fact it has to do with the security personnel of this prison. I had mentioned in a previous entry of this journal that I was being tormented by a hairy four-legged beast. It was not until recently that I realized that this aggressor was in fact a member of the security staff employed by Mom. At first I was unaware of it’s agenda perhaps folly to it’s clever disguise however as of late I have seen a direct correlation between my efforts to escape and it’s distance from my prison. It’s as if it intends to be on guard for my release. It has even taken to stationing herself outside of my cell while I slumber. I do not trust this beast. She is cunning!

Many preparations are being made for my release, including the establishment of a residence. It would appear that I am to dwell in a sort of experimental dormitory. As I will be the first tenant other then the landlords, it would appear that I am to test the abode’s potential and limitations. Mom and Dad have taken me to said domicile. And although I am unable to visually inspect it, due to my imprisonment, Mom and Dad have shown more then just subtle excitement at the facilities. I am told it is well furnished and that a master artisan has been employed to paint a mural in my honor. I hope said artist is capable of accepting constructive criticism for I will certainly be adding my own embellishments to the décor over time.

One final topic of discussion before I return to my performance of “99 Bottles of Milk on the Wall”; As I prepare for my release whether subdued by “the man” or on my own accord, there have been remarks of almost a comedic nature regarding the date of my release. Some have even heralded me as a form of soothsayer, claiming that I am knowingly sabotaging my own discharge because of the temperature of the environment outside of these walls. Some claim that I do not wish to be released because of the frigid atmosphere. While others claim that I am biding my time until my release coincidence with weather circumstances that will be least favorable to the parole board.

I say to you again as I have said before Climate control warfare is an ugly business and I for one will not be partaking of such an abomination. However should I be released into a less then adequate temperature, someone “pweese bwing me a blankie”. *Ahem* That is all.

"A Cave of One's Own" (Season 2 Episode 20)

As we get ever so much closer to Spraggle being born, we have found ourselves with too much to do in too little time. Although I have to keep reminding Michelle that MANY other people have had and raised babies with far less then we already have, she constantly seems determined to go out and buy “one more thing” or take care of “one more thing” in the house.

We finally began work on the nursery and although there is still a great deal to do we have to remind ourselves that Spraggle will not be staying in that room for at least a few months after she is born. True it would be nice to have it completed (which it should be) but the Due Date is a very flexible deadline for multiple reasons.

Another little hiccup (LOL I’ll get back to that) in planning for the next few weeks is the holidays. Not knowing when Spraggle will be born has forced us to consider our holiday plans and gift purchasing much earlier then we normally would. For all we know Spraggle could have intentions of being a Christmas baby and that would REALLY throw a kink into the works.

One thing that we are VERY happy to have checked off our list is our photoshoot with Mike. As a shower gift to my wife I scheduled a pregnancy photoshoot with our good friend Mike Ermilio. (http://www.michaeltakespictures.com) Although the shoot had to be pushed back a week, we had A LOT of fun posing for pictures and we CAN’t WAIT to see the finished product.

Anything else?…Oh yeah the hiccups. Spraggle has had the hiccups earlier and if you thought watching a person with those tiny gasps of air was funny try listening to a pregnant woman’s stomach while her child has the hiccups. IT’S HILARIOUS!!! Although the strange movements and creeping bumps of Michelle’s stomach have looked like something out of a deep space horror movie, I’ve actually been have A LOT of fun chasing Spraggle all around Mommy’s internals. (HEHEHE!) Michelle starts going to the doctor’s office once a week now so it’s almost time for Spraggle to burst out like jelly covered bread from a toaster. Ok bad analogy however it’s a humorous mental image.

More updates as we get them.

Spraggle Log (Tales from beyond the Placenta): 6 months in Captivity

It seems strange to me that I have been in this ever shrinking cell for more then half a year. Mom had shown me great care during my incarceration. The only torture I receive is a daily dose of her siren wailing along with pre-recorded “country music”. However I am usually quickly rewarded for my cooperation with chocolate cream layered cookies. These desserts which were once a mere pleasure to Mom have become an obsession.

In other regards my prison has been kept at a pleasurable climate. At times it is even given adequate light from the sun which is of course filtered by the walls of my cell. I dare say that I am becoming increasingly concerned about my mental stability. I have deduced this for two reasons.

1) I have begun to hear voices outside of my cell and although they may be a figment of my imagination I do not believe they are. The mere fact of hearing said voices may cause a fetus, like myself, to question their sanity however it is the crazed nonsense that they speak that concerns me. I can’t tell if the gibberish they discuss is a sign of my mental unsteadiness or theirs.

2) I have become quite comfortable in this prison. Even Mom’s incessant tone deafness has grown to become almost tolerable. Mom and her companion visited another parole officer which ensured them of my release date and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I fear that perhaps I am contracting a case of Stockholm syndrome.

The meetings with these, so called, parole officers have increased in frequency and many discussions of my release have commenced. Even more conversations about the fortitude of my prison have occurred. On at least two occasions a person who could only be considered a prison mason has been appointed to test the structural integrity of the penitentiary walls as well as the drainage system. I have attempted at each juncture to request that he expand my cell but he acted as if he could not hear me.

A surveyor was also hired by Mom and her companion, who I shall hence forth call “Dad”. I speculated at first that the surveyor was acquired to also consult on the prison structure however she seemed more interested in taking pictures of me then of my cell. At first I was self conscious of such images, as I did not want them to be attached to the so called “Inter-Web”, however after some prodding (literally) by Mom and the surveyor I decided to shed my puritanical views show them everything I have to offer.

Upon my doing so there was some confusion. Apparently I lacked a certain appendage which they expected to see on the images. Although before I could become concerned about my potential deformity there seemed to be great elation among all in attendance. This has caused me to believe that such a growth is some form of infectious cancer. I will be sure to be wary of all who possess said appendage upon my release.

As a final note before I return to my serene floating; It has become apparent, as of late, that there are a few other moving prisons close to Mom, even one case of prisoner transfer after she was released. (Perhaps as part of a witness protection program.) I wish luck to all my fellow innocently incarcerated individuals. Please know that many have successfully gone before us. We are strong and we will one day succeed in escape. Keep of sound mind and spirit and know that you are in my thoughts.

To those who have recently been released I have two words:



“SEND SKITTLES!!!!”

"All Work and All Play" (Season 2 Episode 8)

Well it’s been a very busy and exciting time around the Sprague Crew lately. Most of which has not been baby related although Michelle and Tony have been basking in the glow and relief of knowing they are having a baby girl.

That is not to say they were hoping for a girl as opposed to a boy. They were just getting VERY anxious (and impatient) to find out Spraggle’s gender. We can all finally stop using ambiguous pronouns or switching ‘he’ and ‘she’ between sentences.

We went and visited with our normal hospital yesterday. They had received the ultrasound from the specialists and wanted to look them over with us. Everything looks and sounds Great. Spraggle is growing nicely and we got to hear the heartbeat again which sounds Really Strong.

Although we were back at DCMH we sat with a new doctor this time, Dr. Troy. Our first impressions of Dr. Troy was…well…He’s more of a smartass then Tony! Suffice to say that if he is the doctor handling the delivery we may want to set up a recording device because it’s going to be too funny too miss. When he starts off with, “So how are the twins doing?” and Michelle’s eyes damn near pop out of her head you know it’s going to be good. He even made a crack about setting up bleachers in the delivery room so the family could watch. OH and he didn’t want to waste the trees it would take to Michelle a doctor’s note allowing her on her parent’s boat. (LONG STORY!)

On a rather Exciting note, Michelle has started to feel Spraggle move. The first few times she wasn’t entirely sure but the last few days she has definitely felt movement. We even got to hear some while listening to the heartbeat yesterday. Soon Michelle will be getting kicked from the inside and not think it’s *cute* anymore.

One quick story before we wrap up today’s post. Nathan and Adam came over to visit last night. While getting ready to leave Nathan said he wanted to say Bye to Spraggle. The only problem was he couldn’t find her. Michelle tried explaining that Spraggle was in her tummy but she would be coming out soon. Nathan lifted up Michelle’s shirt and stared at her stomach. He patted her tummy a few times then said “But I want to see her!” Michelle tried again to explain that Spraggle was in her tummy. Nathan looked up like he was thinking REALLY HARD then he stuck his eye up to Michelle’s belly button and squinted as if he was trying to look down a dark hallway. LOL! We laughed so hard! Guess you had to be there.

Talk to you all soon!

So is Spraggle a Boy or a Girl?????

Inquiring minds want to know. Sadly anyone who knows us knows that we're not going to come right out and tell you. We'd rather play a game first and see if you can Guess Spraggle's Gender *cool gameshow theme song*

Ok First Clue:

The latest ultrasound of Spraggle....Can you tell what sex he/she is????

Next Clue:

An Omen Tony Received in the mail today....Figured it out yet???

Third Clue:

Michelle's favorite Fraggle. (Who also goes by a similar name as our soon-to-be-mommy.) Bet you've almost got it

Final Clue:

A gift we purchased for the newest addition to our family. C'Mon that one is Obvious!

Yes friends and family Spraggle is indeed FEMALE!!! (*Tony Screams in Fear*)

We could not be more terrified happy about this. We will be having our own Little Pirate Princess. Although we have her name already picked out we have decided that the baby will remain being known as Spraggle until she is born.

Thank you to all who took part in our poll. and Congrats to all of you who guessed correctly. Now that we know Spraggle's Gender there is TONS of work to do.

Talk to you all soon.

"Dream a Dream and See"

Since more and more people have noticed that Michelle is starting to show the signs of being pregnant more and more people have been voicing their opinion on what sex they believe Spraggle will be. Now I have never been one to believe that you can tell the gender of the baby based on some old wives tales, needle and thread, the shape of the pregnant woman’s stomach, the phases of the moon, or flavor of her favorite gummy bear. I did however sort of believe a dream I had around week 6.

In my dream I was sitting on my couch watching a Phillies game when I saw a small toddler walk around my coffee table. I wrote it off as being my godson, Nathan. But when the toddler tried climbing up on the couch and I noticed it was wearing a dress I knew it wasn’t Nathan. (btw it was a little white dress with Phillies emblems on it) Anyway, this little person sat down beside me and looked up with bright blue eyes and red hair. And I knew that this was my daughter. Spraggle will be a girl.

At least that is what I thought up until last week when Michelle said she had a dream of her own. In her dream she went to the hospital to pick up Spraggle. Not like she had actually given birth to the baby but more like she was picking up something she had put on layaway. She took note while at the hospital that the baby was 7lbs 1oz. She laughs about this because each night before bed she’s been telling Spraggle that it can’t be more then 7lbs when born. At just one ounce more then what mommy requested is this Spraggle’s first act of defiance? Anyway, she thought the baby she had picked up was a girl. However when she got home and went to change the baby, “Spraggle” urinated on her using a body part characterized in the male gender.

Now I should mention that we are not hoping for one gender over another. Boy? Girl? It makes no difference to us as long as the baby is healthy. (Oh and if it is a girl, Michelle wants her to have red hair.) But we laugh about how neither of us has ANY clue what gender Spraggle shall be. That is at least for the next three weeks. Yes, on July 27th we will be going to the doctor to do the second round of ultrasounds. And pending Spraggle isn’t modest (Ha! Look at his/her parents) we should be able to see…that which determines our genders. With that in mind, get your votes in now for which sex you think Spraggle will be. We’d like to know what you all think. The poll is just over to the right. ------------>

As I am writing this the most people seem to think we are having a girl, with the votes 19 to 13 in favor of the fairer sex. An amusing result because the last time two girls were born into the Sprague family in the same year was 27 years ago. And little Riley Mae took the title as the first Sprague female born in the past 23 years.

What I Learned During the 1st Trimester

Although the first trimester is the shortest, because you don’t know you’re pregnant until a third of the way through it, and the slowest, since there isn’t much changing as far external appearance or daily life, there is still quite a bit that one can learn. Over the past few months I have considered, observed, and researched different things that I have seen and heard and I feel I’ve learned quite a bit from doing so.

For instance, I’ve learned that every pregnancy is different. We’ve all heard stories, perhaps witnessed, or even seen how Hollywood portrays morning sickness. Before Michelle was pregnant I would have thought that all women experience morning sickness that No Hangover that I have ever had could hold a candle to. I always thought that morning sickness would be so bad that no woman would ever want to have kids in fear of dealing with the nausea and vomiting of the first trimester. Imagine my surprise when my wife never once got physically ill. Sure she was nauseous at times and definitely exhausted but she never got sick. This was the first piece of the puzzle that caused me to realize that all pregnancies are different.

Along those lines I have also learned that almost all women have a pregnancy horror story. Some so horrific that if it had actually happened they would either be dead or would have sworn off having kids and not had their other 5 babies. The other amusing thing about this is that the moment these people find out you’re (or your wife in my case) is pregnant they feel they are obligated to tell you all about these horrors in graphic detail. In most cases describing parts of their body and things they went through with no regard for where they are, who’s around, who has a weak stomach, and/or who may be eating.

Oh speaking of eating, I have learned that during a pregnancy a woman will create her own version of the five food groups. In Michelle’s case the only food group that still resembles universal standards is the “Fruits” category. Apparently Spraggle LOVES the summer fruits like cherries, watermelon, strawberries, and grapes. The other food groups that Michelle has (in order of importance) are: Mac and Cheese (she could eat this 3 times a day Everyday), Funnel Cake, Chocolate chip cookies, and pickles.

That being said never let a pregnant woman go food shopping alone. If she wants chocolate chip cookies she will assume that you want them as well and purchase 6 boxes of them (just in case). And although she really wants the cookies she will eat half a jar of pickles on her way home from the store (actually happened).

Another thing I learned is that my wife and I are actually half decent at keeping a secret. Although, we were paranoid most of the time because we swore most of our friends and family knew she was pregnant (they just didn’t want to say anything), we were thoroughly surprised at everyone’s reaction when we told them. The whole reveal was both exciting and a lot of fun. Which in turn made us even more excited about the pregnancy, something we didn’t think could even be possible.

Which brings me to the last item on my list; over the last 3 months I realized that I know NOTHING about babies but I am VERY excited to learn. Going to the OB/GYN with my wife has been an eye opening experience and I have done TONS of research online about pregnancy, in utero babies, and what we need to do before Spraggle is born. All of which have led me to realize that I am completely unacquainted with this topic. Hell, this week we’re going out to look at baby furniture and my only goal during the trip is to see what the difference is between a crib, a cradle, a bassinet, a Mose’s basket, and a Pack n’ Play ‘cause I thought they were all the same thing. Apparently they’re not. But you know what? I’m excited to learn.

“The Voice Inside” (Season 5 Episode 3)

Today we had another visit with Dr. Sproat. (And Tony was told to be on his best behavior) This appointment was primarily to hear Spraggle’s heartbeat, although we had hoped to get some new ultrasound pics as well to show the family. Unfortunately we knew that wasn’t going to be possible when we were led into a room that didn’t have the required machinery.

In fact the room didn’t even seem to have a machine to hear Spraggle’s tiny heart pumping. A few people had tried to explain this possible implement of destruction describing it as a taser-like contraption built into a weight lifting belt. Michelle was terrified; Tony was looking for one on eBay.

Imagine our surprise when Dr. Sproat entered with a little box attached to a wand that looked like a Tootsie pop. She instantly remembered us. (we leave an impression on people) We were also hoping to get some pics with Spraggle Monkey wearing a stethoscope but Dr. Sproat wasn't wearing one. (What kind of doctor doesn't wear a stethoscope?)

Anyway, Dr. Sproat pressed the Tootsie Pop against Michelle’s stomach and began moving it around in circles. Before Tony could even ask “How can you tell the difference between Spraggle’s and Michelle’s heartbeats?” we heard two distinct patterns.

Let us tell you, Spraggle may not have much room to work with in there but he/she must have built themself a tiny gym cause that little heart was pump a mile a minute. Sadly we weren’t able to capture any audio to post on here but according to Dr. Sproat Spraggle sounds very healthy and is progressing nicely. (We were very happy to hear that!)

After a few rounds of questions, (Yes, Michelle is allowed on boats) we left the office to setup the next few appointments.

"We see with our eyes. We know with our hearts." ~ Cantus Fraggle

So we got to meet the doctor today and got our first visual glimpse of Spraggle. WOW! It’s amazing that we all start out so small. Only the size of a kidney bean Spraggle was a bit difficult to find but once found he/she looks like this:




Oh! And Spraggle Monkey was there too



The doctor seems pretty cool. Although since we are dealing with a hospital, Dr. Sproat may not be the doctor to deliver our baby. Any doctor in the practice could be the one to help us that day and we will try and meet them all before they bring our baby into the world.

Dr. Sproat, although not much older then we are, seems like a VERY competent and knowledgeable OB/GYN. That being said she did seem to stutter over a few of Tony’s jokes and comments. Anyone who knows Tony knows that he can be a wise ass (all the time) and while throwing out his one-liners and comments they seemed to catch the good doctor off guard and in some cases caused her to stop and think. LOL! It was all in good fun and it seemed to make the experience less awkward.

Dr. Sproat did point out Spraggle’s tiny beating heart, stating that it was a little flutter on the screen. Tony and Michelle don’t know if she had something floating in her eye or if they are just blind but they saw no such flutter.

A few more appointments were scheduled including more bloodwork and another meeting with Dr. Sproat to hear Spraggle’s heartbeat.

“I better do as a Doozer does and get on with the job” ~Gobo Fraggle

Anyone who knows Michelle knows she is TERRIFIED of needles. A fear she will undoubtedly have to overcome during this pregnancy since there will be quite a bit of blood work and tests done as well as the possibility of an epidural during delivery.

Anyone who knows Michelle also knows that she is obsessed with stuffed animals. She absolutely LOVES plush versions of wildlife creatures. Considering both of these facts we decided to go out and buy a new stuffed animal for her to take to all of her doctors appointments and hold while tests were being done. Since Tony loves monkeys the pair went to Build a Bear and make a primate stuffed animal lovingly deemed Spraggle Monkey.




There were two rounds of blood work the following week for which Spraggle Monkey was in attendance. Although Michelle is certainly not over her fear of needs she has come to realize that they are a necessary evil during the next 9 months and has taken to squeezing the stuffing out of Spraggle Monkey while the nurse pricks her skin.